Thank you to all who helped with the tailgate. What a wonderful time of fellowship, food and fun. Some wonderful relationships were strengthened and I saw many new ones begin. So, I begin my Monday with a big smile, thanking God for the volunteers and those that were at the event. As a response to the joy, I offer a joke. Many of you have probably heard it and while I have heard it many times, it still makes me laugh. It also reminds me that there are many more of you with great leadership potential and I encourage you to seek God’s call on your life. Human beings may not see it in you, but God does.
Report from the Pastor Search Committee:
We do not have a happy report to give. We have not been able to find a
suitable candidate for this church, though we have one promising prospect.
Thank you for your suggestions. We have followed up on each one with
interviews or by calling at least three references. The following is our
ADAM: Good man but has problems with his wife. One reference told us how he
and his wife enjoyed walking nude in the woods.
NOAH: Former pastorate of 120 years with no converts. Prone to unrealistic
JOSEPH: A big thinker, but a braggart; believes in dream interpreting and
has a prison record.
MOSES: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator; even stutters at times.
Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly in business meetings. Some say he
left an earlier church over a murder charge.
DEBORAH: One word — Female.
DAVID: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he
had with his neighbor’s wife.
SOLOMON: Great preacher, but serious woman problem.
ELIJAH: Prone to depression; collapses under pressure.
HOSEA: A tender and loving pastor, but our people could never handle his
JONAH: Told us he was swallowed up by a great fish. He said the fish later
spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.
AMOS: Too much of a country hick. Backward and unpolished. With some
seminary training, he might have promise; but he has a hang-up against
JOHN: Says he is a Baptist, but doesn’t dress like one. May be too
Pentecostal. Tends to lift both hands in the air to worship when he gets
excited. You know we limit to one hand. Sleeps in the outdoors, has a weird
diet, and provokes denominational leaders.
PETER: Too blue collar. Has a bad temper, even said to have cursed. He’s a
PAUL: Powerful CEO type and fascinating preacher. However, he’s short on
tact, unforgiving with young ministers, harsh, and has been known to preach
TIMOTHY: Too young.
JESUS: Has had popular times, but once when his church grew to 5000, He
managed to offend them all; and his church dwindled down to twelve people.
Seldom stays in one place very long. And, of course, he is single.
JUDAS: His references are solid. A steady plodder. Conservative. Good
connections. Knows how to handle money. We’re inviting him to preach this
Sunday in view of a call.